she's a bottle of water

wearing clothes is hard.
i hate it.
back from a week in Shasta. it was pretty much equal parts drinking, napping, pouting, yelling and "napping." but in a good way :)
met a boy. like him very much. and yesterday g bought me a plane ticket so i could visit him (and her and J). so... booty call sponsorship is off the bucket list.
this weekend was filled to the brim with love. 
parents were in town closing on the house, so i cooked them dinner, went for a walk by the water, played piano for them.
got an invite to the rare and magical "rich bachelor with a McMansion and a pool"'s house. laid around all day with beautiful people.
lots of BBQs with the rare and wonderful friends who really know their way around a grill and a cut of meat.
so much girl time, catching everyone up on shasta.
so much peaceful.
realized how devastated i'm going to be with nikki and jess leave. got teary just thinking about it last night.
breathe...
and then there's the new boy...
over and over and over and over and over.
we went to the same school, apparently, which made me curious about who he would have met, if he met me then. old journal entries from 2004. this was back in the Damon days. I couldn't help but miss that sweet spot of reckless passion. smart enough to know better, but naive enough to be hopeful.
past kari said things like "i hope he doesn't hurt me."
future kari will say things like "i'm going to end this before he has a chance to hurt me"
past kari was so excited when she ran into him in the library and she looked hot.
future kari will obsess over why he didn't text back even tho she looked hot.

i thought i would read those entries and feel sorry for how blindly I went through relationships.
but it left me kind of nostalgic for the times when i wasn't so damn cynical.

but...
there is a new boy...
and despite how much i know things can and probably will hurt at some point, i'm still crazy and reckless enough to say "fuck it." so maybe i haven't lost touch just yet.
or maybe i'm just following my labido more these days...