there's no end to the love you can give...

almost exactly 3 years ago today i wrote this: http://sexinthecloset.livejournal.com/244548.html
I still cry when i read that.
almost 2 years ago, I turned it into a song called "Dear Amanda Palmer."
a year ago, I gave her a copy of the CD at her Portland show. She asked for my email address but never wrote me.
and today...
i got an email from her manager telling me he came across the song, loved it and wanted me to send the lyrics.
there's a good chance that somewhere Amanda Palmer will hear my love ballad today. Not a lot of people get to experience that.
it might seem strange to idolize someone like her. She's not crazy celeb famous and she's a not prodigy musician. it's her spirit i seem to be drawn to. she just ... is... what i try to be/want to be/ can't not be.
she's...
...slaying a musical instrument after a bottle of wine or...a ripped up pixies shirt with no bra or...a brightly lit windowed room full of pillows or... that F to Fm switch at the end of "Follow you into the dark" or... poignant lyrics that make the rain okay or...sitting indian style on a bar stool or... haikus scrawled on cocktail napkins or....singing the harmony with someone in a car or....skyping someone in the next room from a bubble bath or....falling against your front door when he leaves and you can finally fall apart or...that part in that Brandi Carlisle song where she ferociously belts out those insane scratchy high notes or...crying because it feels good...

it's hard to describe i guess. not just beautiful. not just special. not just talented. not just interesting. just... everything.
anyway, i really hope she hears her song and i really hope it makes her feel like there are people who get what she's doing and support it, because that kind of self-aware unashamed honesty is really hard and really rare.