the in-between

I think my favorite time of day in the whole world is between 7am and 9am. Let me rephrase, my brain is at it's most amazing between 7 and 9am.
I set my alarm for 7 and end up hitting the snooze button for longer than most normal people.
I do this intentionally, because my brain does incredible things when i'm halfway between awake and asleep.
I solve real problems with stupid illogical solutions that make total sense at the time and make me crack up when i remember them later.
Dear Brain,
How in the hell did you think making kayak paddles out of taco bell tortilla shells was going to fix your multi-user database override problem?
love,
Kari

I also come up with elaborate reasons to stay in bed. At least this motivation I get, but if I'm sleep deprived enough, sleepy brain logic can overpower normal people logic.

Dear Sleepy Brain,
While I admire your powers of persuation over regular brain, my boss was not amused that I missed our 9am meeting because you convinced me I'd come up with the most comfortable sleeping position in the history of mankind and it was socially irresponsible to waste that rare oppertunity.
Love,
Late to work Kari

This morning was pretty epic.
It started with a dream. I was sleeping in a lovely sunlight treehouse when my vibrator, which was shaped like a Ken doll, turned on by itself. The regular on/off switches weren't working, so I spent what felt like hours removing layer after layer. Batteries, power cables, cases and covers.
It still wouldn't stop buzzing.
So I took a hammer and beat it to a bloody pulp.
When I woke up, I realized that the buzzing was my cell phone, which had been going off for 3 1/2 minutes. It's strange when you're made quickly aware of the discrepancy between dream time and real time.

After the dream, my brain stayed in the half awake for a while and convinced me that I was showing a rare skill in how long I could keep myself half awake. Sleepy brain made me feel proud of how quickly i could turn off the sleep alarm. Sleepy brain convinced me to sleep with one hand on the alarm clock and another on my cellphones so that i could turn my back up alarms off as easy as my primary ones. Sleepy brain convinced me that I was a genius for this.

Late to work Kari missed her doctor's appointment and first meeting because sleepy brain had once again taken control of the 7-9am.. so she killed him with redbull.

The end.