Think of this as my Post Secret

<TMI>

1.Not being over him is making it impossible for anyone else to really love and trust me.

2. What hurts the most is the idea of being rejected by the idea of him.

3.  i don't think i can love myself again until I understand why he doesn't.

4. I've built my identity around loving the things about myself that someone like him should love and without it i'm lost.

5. I was always comfortable with my mania because i thought it was necessary for the best parts of me to exist. If I have to fix the crazy stuff for anyone to love me, I'm scared I won't know who I am anymore.

8. I don't trust the world to make me happy on it's own and I survive with self medication.

9.  The better things get, the less excuses I have to be sad and the more guilty I feel for being sad.

10. Every moment when I feel beautiful and proud, gets ruined because part of me is so angry you can't see it

11. I only feel safe when I feel skinny.

12. Sometimes I stop eating because I don't know how to understand how to fix anything else.

13. Sometimes I stop eating because at least people will worry about me for good reasons. People understand the need to be thin but not the psychotic obsession to be loved by something that barely exists.

</TMI>