Feelin a list entry today.
Things affecting me this week:
1. Melancholia.
Gorgeous entirely metaphorical film about the beauty of our own mortality. Truly amazing character development (or lack there of) creating a wonderful little fable of a film. Depressed rich people dealing with the concept of their death. If you hate your life does knowing its end change anything for you? I've seen it twice in the last week. Lars Von Trier is clearly one of the more manic artists of our time, but I'm glad he's making art with it. More than I can say for myself right now with my stupid damien rice knock offs.
2. My baby synth
I've been recruited to play synth for the band's live shows. We put some crucial synth parts into the last record and needed someone to play them live. Hence, me has a little 2 octave mini synth at my house. This has caused me to write deliciously terrible emo piano songs, that i'm quite proud of. All the girl-with-acoustic-guitar stuff is sounding ripe when transposed to piano. The OCD in me is getting anxious not having an outlet for it yet, but I'll get around to that once the inspiration plateaus. There is NOTHING more cliche and wonderful than playing piano with wine by candle light while looking out at my the seattle skyline at night. Regina Spektor, I'm comin for you...
3. Bandmance
Went out last weekend with the guys from PM, Alabaster and Lookout. Had an epic night of music chats, cheap beer drinking, pool shooting and drunken karaoke performances. Didn't realize it at the time, but it's been the catharsis I was needing to deal with all the fallout. Feels like my breakups leave graveyards all over everything. Nothing but death and loneliness and regret and guilt. I suppose the options are, try and repair the damage or make new friends. I hadn't been doing either.Probably because mild attempts at either had been making me feel worse. Anyway, a night of being the only girl around a bunch of musicians was just the thing I needed to remind me what it feels like to let go of the past for just a little while. everyone's an attention whore, i just admit it... often...
4. The Itis 2011
I effing got sick :( First time this year. aaaalmost made it. Probably a combination of very little sleep, lots of stress at work, social life upheaval and a weekend of binge drinking.. or 2.. or all. But I took a few half days at work (no rest for the apubs!), slept more in one night than i had in a week, and had someone make me chicken soup against my will while I was mildly blacked out on medicine.
Aaaaand I'm duckin out early to catch GroupLove at the Deck the Hall Ball. Much thanks to the Pirate, who's cousin is the drummer and thus scoring us backstage passes to see Deathcab later tonight. I'm giving jangly music a chance. be proud. i'm growing.
"depression's like a fur coat. it's made of dead things but it keeps me warm."
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